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Welcome to Turnitin Revision Assistant

This walkthrough shows how Revision Assistant's instant feedback helps students improve their writing with every draft.

Meet Tessa

Tessa is a 9th-grade student. She’s working on a Revision Assistant Signal Check assignment.

Prompt

The standards-aligned prompt asks Tessa to argue whether libraries should censor materials people may find offensive.

Prewriting

Analyzing what she just read, Tessa can brainstorm ideas for her claim, evidence, and conclusion.

Draft 1 - Too Short

Tessa’s first draft is too short to earn a score. Revision Assistant suggests ways to expand her ideas, so she gets right back to work on another draft.

Draft 2 – Overall Scores

On Draft 2, Tessa scores 1 and 2 out of 4 bars for each rubric trait. Knowing she can do better, Tessa reviews Revision Assistant’s holistic suggestions for improvement.

Draft 2 – Strengths

Next, Tessa checks out the sentences Revision Assistant highlighted as her strongest. She can use this feedback to improve other parts of her essay.

Draft 2 – Struggles

Now, Tessa looks at the sentences Revision Assistant highlighted as areas where she struggled. She carefully reviews the specific feedback for how to improve. Draft 3 here she comes!

Draft 3 – Proofread Mode

Tessa uses Proofread Mode to help spot wonky spelling and correct grammatical mix-ups in her essay on Draft 3.

Draft 4 – Score Increase

Tessa’s writing improves! By incorporating Revision Assistant’s instant holistic and sentence-level feedback, Tessa increases her scores in Language and Style and Organization on Draft 4.

Turning It In

When she is ready, Tessa can turn in her draft. Her teacher can then instantly access Tessa’s latest work as well as data insights into Tessa’s writing progress.

Welcome, Tessa!
Argumentative Writing Assignment
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Assignment
View Rubric

Censorship in the Libraries

Prewriting

Claim

Censorship is a good thing. 

Support 1

I hear bad stuff in the halls at school all the time. 

Support 2

We are surrounded by bad language and images in all the books, movies, and magazines.

Conclusion

This is where we're heading in this world. 

Draft 4 - Signal Check
6/28/2018 2:49 PM

Can you imagine a world where anything goes? Sometimes it seems like that’s where we’re heading in this world. As a teen I hear terrible things just by walking through the halls in school, so when my friends talk about freedom of speech, it isn't always a good thing. Young people shouldnt have to see things that should of been censored. Even though many people want to have the freedom to choose, censorship is a good thing in some cases, such as if it restricts bad language or inapropriate scenes in a book.
One piece of evidence for censorship being right is that harsh language and inappropriate scenes in books or the media could make kids repeat the words or bad behavior. There are plenty of books, movies, and magazines that contain inappropriate language, violence, and other disturbing things. People should be able to read and listen to things from the library without being offended by it so we should make sure those things aren’t seen on library shelves. Parents don't like it when kids are reading about inappropriate behavior. As a future educator of a new generation I would never want children reading books like "The Contender."
secondly, some topics do not need censoring, but other topics will require censorship. I am okay with. teen love and dorky teens, but I say no thank you to a book about the rest of it. Another reason that censorship is good is that I want my children to grow up innocent, and live life to the fullest without reading about aggression and other inappropriate behavior. Most parent would agree with that!
In conclusion, if we could put more important learning in books, movies, and etc. there would be less violence in the world. and kids would be less likely to use bad language or be inappropriate. Having a more positive day and going out and saying I read this wonderful book that taught me something new in life would be the best thing to hear and then we wouldn’t need censorship in libraries or anywhere else.
Claim and Focus Inline Feedback Icon
Support and Evidence Inline Feedback Icon
Organization Inline Feedback Icon
Language and Style Inline Feedback Icon
Draft 3 - Proofread
6/28/2018 2:36 PM
deleatur mark 1, filleddeleatur mark 2, emptydeleatur mark 3, empty
1st Proofread

Can you imagine a world where anything goes? Sometimes it seems like that’s where we’re heading in this world. As a teen I hear terrible things just by walking through the halls in school, so when my friends talk about freedom of speech, it isn't always a good thing. Young people shouldnt have to see things that should of been censored. Even though many people want to have the freedom to choose, censorship is a good thing in some cases, such as if it restricts bad language or inapropriate scenes in a book. One piece of evidence for censorship being right is that harsh language and inappropriate scenes in books or the media could make kids repeat the words or bad behavior. There are plenty of books, movies, and magazines that contain inappropriate language, violence, and other disturbing things. People should be able to read and listen to things from the library without being offended by it so we should make sure those things aren’t seen on library shelves. Parents don't like it when kids are reading about inappropriate behavior. As a future educator of a new generation I would never want children reading books like "The Contender." secondly, some topics do not need censoring, but other topics will require censorship. I am okay with. teen love and dorky teens, but I say no thank you to a book about the rest of it. Another reason that censorship is good is that I want my children to grow up innocent, and live life to the fullest without reading about aggression and other inappropriate behavior. Most parent would agree with that! In conclusion, if we could put more important learning in books, movies, and etc. there would be less violence in the world. and kids would be less likely to use bad language or be inappropriate. Having a more positive day and going out and saying I read this wonderful book that taught me something new in life would be the best thing to hear and then we wouldn’t need censorship in libraries or anywhere else.
Draft 2 - Signal Check
6/28/2018 2:35 PM

Sometimes it seems like that’s where we’re heading in this world. As a teen I hear terrible things just by walking through the halls in school. I think that censorship is a good thing. There are plenty of books, movies, and magazines that contain inappropriate language and other disturbing things.
People should be able to read and listen to things from the library without being offended by it so we should make sure those things aren’t seen on library shelves. Parents don't like it when kids are reading about inappropriate behavior. As a future educator of a new generation I would never want children reading books like ""The Contender." I am okay with teen love and dorky teens, but I say no thank you to a book about the rest of it. I want my children to grow up innocent, and live life to the fullest without reading about breaking the law or other inappropriate behavior. In conclusion, if we could put more important learning in books, movies, and etc. there would be less aggression in the world. Having a more positive day and going out and saying I read this wonderful book that taught me something new in life would be the best thing to hear and then we wouldn’t need censorship in libraries or anywhere else.
Claim and Focus Inline Feedback Icon
Support and Evidence Inline Feedback Icon
Organization Inline Feedback Icon
Language and Style Inline Feedback Icon
Draft 1 - Signal Check
6/28/2018 2:34 PM
a warning sign
This draft was too short to receive feedback. Suggestions for improvement were:
  • State your claim about the topic
  • Include evidence and explain how it supports your claim
  • Use proper punctuation to show where your sentences end
Go to the Prewriting Space and click the question marks for further guidance.

Sometimes it seems like that’s where we’re heading in this world. As a teen I hear terrible things just by walking through the halls in school. I think that censorship is a good thing. There are plenty of books, movies, and magazines that contain inappropriate language and other disturbing things.

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